Monday, 6 April 2009


A few years ago a friend of mine had gone to the pub for Sunday lunch with her husband, daughter (nine year old) and their extended families.

It's a lovely cosy, country pub with lots of log fires and comfy seats, so they had settled themselves around a few tables ready to relax and enjoy a few drinks and a lovely meal.

After ordering drinks at the bar, they were perusing the food menu when their daughter piped up that she needed the toilet. Mum pointed her in the right direction and off she trotted on her own.

The adults were engrossed in conversation and suddenly realised daughter had not yet returned. Just before investigating though, she appeared at the table with what mum recognised was her 'inquisitive head' on!

Just as mummy took a swig of Budweiser from her glass: "Mummy" daughter said in an extremely loud voice, sure enough, question coming, " Whats a condom?!"

Mummy gulped hard and managed to spill Budweiser all over her chin.

Daughter had apparently seen a machine in the toilet, and that was what had taken the time for her to come back!

Oh oh , thought Mum, how do I answer this one!

Just need to point out that my friend is very frank generally, calls a spade a spade and has no problem with explanations, but this one needed careful thought and her daughter was waiting expectantly - as were half the pub!!!!

Deep breath she thought, and launched into a long winded explanation on the birds and the bees and where condoms fitted in to all this. The rest of the pub had gone quiet as they all listened with baited breath to hear how she would handle it.

"Ok?" she said eventually, as she finished ,breathed a sigh of relief and took another large swig of Budweiser (her favourite tipple).

"Well why are they fruity" said her daughter!

Oh Oh! More Bud down mums chin!!

It's a classic story and my friend tells it so well. Hope you enjoyed my version. RX

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