Monday 23 November 2009

Co-Operation

I don't know what it is at the moment.... nearly Christmas, nearly the end of term, their respective ages(?), their respective personalities (?) who knows? - but I cannot get my three children to do anything that I want them do.

I've been looking after them alone for ten days and it taking its toll! I'm shattered, bad tempered and reaching for the chocolate for comfort. All tell tale signs that they've managed to ground me down. They are in control and not the other way round. Don't get me wrong I know you can't put kids into neat little boxes, and nor would I want to. I love their differences, their quirky little ways, but sometimes, just sometimes it would be really nice if they did as I asked the first time I asked them!

Yesterday, was the final straw, and I only had the boys. Lauren was away at Grandads for the weekend, and I only needed to do three things all day; visit the tip with the bags of litter the bin men are not collecting at the moment, clean/tidy the house, and then go and pick Lauren up from my dads in the afternoon.

I soon realised it was going to go pear shaped when the boys were still in pyjamas at 11.30am despite me asking them fifteen times(yes I know precisely because I counted) to get dressed. I even laid their clothes out for them, between them and the TV, and still no joy. I even turned the TV off and still no joy!

By 7pm, having wasted a good hour traipsing back to Ferrybridge services twice to pick up Nathaniel's forgotten box of GoGos (God forbid they are ever lost - they must be worth hundreds!) and consequently ruining our Sunday dinner , I had had ENOUGH.

In desperation I searched the bookshelf for help and came across a book called RAISING HAPPY CHILDREN by Jan Parker and Jan Stimpson. Having made my kids lives a misery yesterday I sat down to read it, feeling guilty for my behaviour.

Things happen for a reason I believe, and so I opened it up in the middle on the most appropriate pages for me right then - A SIX-STEP PLAN FOR CO-OPERATION. Yes, my prayers had been answered. I read it avidly and am inspired. So inspired I'm going to finish this blog post by including it for any readers who are having similar issues with their little (or big) Angels.

Hope it helps, it helped me!
(not reprinted exactly by the way!)

STEP ONE
Stop what you're doing and look at your child. This immediately stops you from shouting at a child that's upset.

STEP TWO
Wait for eye contact - do nothing else but wait. This is respectful and so likely to get your child's attention. These two steps allow you to collect your thoughts and ask clearly and calmly without shouting or nagging.

STEP THREE
Tell your child what you'd like them to do, clearly simply and only once.You may be pleasantly surprised here!

STEP FOUR
If steps one to three haven't worked - and apparently this is only a small minority!! - ask the child in their own words what you have asked them to do. There seems to be more of an obligation felt if the words come out of their mouths.

STEP FIVE
For the tiny amount of children who are still resisting!
Stand and wait until your child has done what you want them to do.Most parents are too busy to do this, or feel it. But if you do, your child will know you are serious and what he/she is experiencing is not scolding or nagging but calm and reasonable.

STEP SIX
Notice and praise everything the child does in the right direction.

Good Luck. Lets have some feed back, it can't be just me that has this 'problem'.
RX

Tuesday 27 October 2009

CUTE

Nathaniel is just five and still getting to grips with the English language. This blog is just to record some of his latest offerings in this area. Some may be a bit personal but hope you enjoy the read anyway. RX

"Mummy play a game with me". "I spy with my lemon eye"!

"It's all topsy-toesy"

I'm in year-ception aren't I mummy?" (reception!)

"Mummy, Americans tend to take their clothes off alot when they're hot don't they?"

"Its on nicksplash.co.uk" (Lauren loves this one - he meant slash obviously!)

"Mummy, can I have a worm please? I'd like to call it Bertie and feed it cake!"

"Mummy do wishes come true? If they do I'd wish my cuddly dog could be real".

"Does the queen sit on her throne all the time?, How thin is she? , Does she sleep on her throne too?"

"Mummy I'm going to put it in here (his toy cockroach!) and when you open the door you'll freak out your skin!!"

"Look there's a smurf shoe?!" (slip on shoe lying by the side of the road)

He still says "hate you big" when I say "love you little" - my all time favourite.

And last but not least for today, he can sing all the words to Robbie Williams Angels ,beautifully.

How gorgeous are children? I don't want mine to grow up any more. Loving them right where they're at just now.
RX

Saturday 24 October 2009

STUFF

Lauren and Nat have decided between them that they'd like a hamster, each. As if we don't have enough pets with five cats, three guinea pigs and a corn snake, they want to increase the mini-zoo with two more furry creatures.

So, as a deterrent we've said no, unless they buy them themselves. Not just the hamsters, but the cages, the waterbottles, the wheels, the food etc. So altogether it adds up to quite a lot of money.

We had a trip to Pets At Home today, and after dodging the rats in cages (can't get my head around that at all. YUK) we reached the little furry hamsters. Oh yes, they make you go aaaah aren't they sweet but..............all that springs to my mind is the time that Nat thought the nursery hamster might like to jump from a great height, and nearly died,in our house, in our care. By the way if you'd like to read more on this please see a previous blog post all about it. Its most amusing, only because Percy survived!

We've calculated that L and N need to save over £40 each, so think we're safe for quite a while given that they each get just £5 a week pocket money, and Nat always wants to spend his the minute it hits his hot little hands. He's into Doctor Who cards at the moment, and holds up a pound coin asking how many card packs he can get with it.

Here's hoping the furry creatures are a long way off. Especially as I'd probably get the job of cleaning them out.

Little aside; Nat thinks Tinchy Stryder should be on X Factor. He thinks he'd win!! No doubt. Just about to watch John and Edward whilst writing this. Please,please, please don't let them stay in another week. They can't sing, and they look ridiculous so who the hell is voting for them?!

Another little aside; Nats new word for buttocks is buttocuts.

RX

Sunday 18 October 2009

COOL

I've come to the conclusion that my kids are 'well cool and well busy' (Nats phrase). I'm sure most parents think that about their kids but I'm saying it in relation to music.

I blogged a while ago and mentioned that Nat went to bed listening to the Foo Fighters. It relaxed him, really. Well, its changed now to Dizzy Rascal - Holiday in particular. Hardly soothing music but it works. He can be seen lying in his cabin bed, eyes closed, almost asleep mouthing to the tunes, word perfect.

Lauren on the other hand, whilst enjoying the likes of Dizzy and Tinchy (they've mixed their names up to Dizzy Stryder and Tinchy Rascal!)- she systematically went through Youtube the other day and watched all their latest videos, and now also knows the words - is more enamoured with Michael jackson.

Man In The Mirror was a firm favourite with all three of my kids last year in Cornwall. Chris has it on his Ipod in the car, and they used to request it and sing along on every journey. Great the first time, abit tedious the fiftieth!

She has all his albums on her Ipod and goes to sleep (with her eye mask on!) listening to Smooth Criminal. Possibly the 'extended version', possibly the 'radio edit' - she knows them all off by heart.

Bens a little more varied in his choice of music and will sometimes have 'shuffle songs' on to sleep to. Before he got his own Ipod he'd only moan if some of my country stuff came on (I have eclectic music tastes!)but think that was more because Chris told him country isn't cool (rubbish of course) rather than a proper dislike. He's rather keen on the Kaiser Chiefs, they think going to school is uncool too!

I love it that they have such a healthy regard for music. It is of course helped by the fact that mummy and daddy deliberately expose them to allsorts, via the Ipod, Youtube, TV and live concerts.

Ben's been to see the Foos live at Wembley with his dad, and I took him and some mates to see McFly a few years ago. Not quite so cool,we took him to see Westlife when he was four! and he asked me to ask all the ladies to stop screaming so he could listen to the music!!! Don't know what he made of the knickers being thrown at the band!

Lauren came with me and some girl friends to see Girls Aloud at Harewood - ok but their support, Simon Webbe was fantastic, not leat because he's very easy on the eye!! She's been twice to see Girls Aloud now, possibly an annual event from now on.

Best of all though, she's crazy about Hannah Montana/Mylie Syrus and Chris managed to get tickets for her concert at O2 just before chrstmas. Not a bad treat when you're seven! Whilst Lauren is really looking forward to it, think the pull of Santa at Hamleys the day after is greater!

They say music soothes the soul, and I've found it does just that. For me and the kids. I use it to cheer me up when I'm down, calm me when I'm angry and fire me up when I need some motivation (Anastasia is great to iron to!) And am teaching this to Ben, Lauren and Nat. I went to see Paulo Nuttini last week in Leeds and that was a really moving experience; he's so passionate about his music. I also saw Echo and The Bunnymen do a gig in their home town of Liverpool a few months ago. Ian Mcculloch was amazing. The whole concert gave me goosebumps.

So next time you've been shouting at the kids, or they're lacking in enthusiasm for life in general put some music on and get up and dance with them. I promise it works wonders - every time.

My next concert is Marc Almond (told you I have eclectic tastes)at the Grand Theatre. Not with the kids but with two guys I went to school with. One of whom I went to see Soft Cell with over twenty years ago (yes Geoff we're really that old!). Apparently Paul Ogrady is compering it, so it sounds like we're in for an erm, interesting, evening.

RX

Friday 14 August 2009

FUNNY

................my five year old is so funny, he was just born to be on the stage.

Yesterday, Lauren and I were in the house, and Nat and Ben were 'gardening' outside. he came flying in all of a sudden gesticulating, saying " There's a dead hodgy in the pond mummy come and see". He kept repeating the word hodgy; which we finally worked out was a hedgehog. (The next best thing to him pronouncing the word properly was hodgeheg after several attempts, but hodgy is cute......). Sure enough, on inspection, there was a spiky creature in the pond. And well dead it was too.

Later we were all out in the garden and Ben shouted " Come and smell my plants". He'd been planting his sunflowers in the ground from their pots. I went down the steps and smelt them. Shortly after I heard Ben say to Nat " that's my PANTS". Nat was trying to sniff Ben's pants - he'd misheard! Ben laughed til he cried.


Even later, last night when I was putting Nat to bed, he told me when he gets frustrated or angry (we were having a conversation about why he nips Lauren), he sees a skull in his head , and it's all white light with a little bit of pink. He says its the skull that makes his brain work?! Any child psychologists reading this please feel free to comment?

I asked him for a good night kiss, and he said he had none made in his factory because the diggers had gone on strike.

I also had a great conversation with Ben and Lauren the other evening. Lauren said she'd like to be a police woman with a dog ; a German Shepherd.

Ben said he'd like to be an artist and a surf dude in Cornwall.

Lauren said she'd go and see him when he was famous.

Ben said "what like Pablo Picasso".

Lauren said "who?".

I launched into an explanation as to who Pablo Picasso was and how famous he was.

"He's not that famous mummy, she's never heard of him", says Ben!!

Bless them . They're so lovely.
RX

Thursday 16 July 2009

RING THE CHANGES

I don't know how we came across them but they're just fantastic. I found one on our book shelf the other day, liked the title and read it to Nat as a bedtime story.

He laughed and thought it was "well cool and well busy", his line for something great.

And so, when I was in Borders the other day, I searched for more in the same series and wow, there are loads of them. Top!

What am I rabbiting on about you ask? Well maybe you didn't but I'll tell you anyway. I'm talking about a load of books loosely based on the traditional Goldilocks and the Three Bears type stories that we all grew up with and came to love, and know off by heart.

These books however, ring the changes, and are as Nat described them, just "well cool and well busy".

Tonight, I read Cinderboy to Ben and Lauren - we laughed out loud at the silly story of a boy who was at the beck and call of his ugly stepbrothers but whose life was changed for the better by his TV Godmother. Clever stuff.

And then there's Daft Jack and the Bean Stack. Jack and his mother have a cow, but they're sick of drinking milk. The giant is sick of eating children and really wants beans instead, and when he meets Jacks mother they fall in love and live happily ever after. Superb writing.

One more before I give you the author etc. - Eco Wolf and the Three Pigs . The wolf is the so-laid-back-he's-falling-over 'goody' in the story and the three pigs are the thoughtless moneymaking 'baddies', out to ruin the environment.Engaging to children and adults alike.

I've got to tell you the best title : Rumply Crumply Stinky Pin, we love the name in our house, and the story is just hilarious too.

They're a must if you fancy something light hearted for the kids before bed, or at any time for that matter. They work for all ages too. Ben's nine and he loves them just as much as Nat who's five. Lauren has memorised most of them and likes to join in with me in 'reading' them.

If you fancy reading one of these Seriously Silly Stories, they are by Laurence Anholt and Arthur Robins and are published by Orchard books. Probably available from Amazon.co.uk but I found Borders (near Ikea) have virtually the whole series.

Some other titles include :
Mary,Mary, Fried Canary
Old King Cole Played In Goal
Ding Dong Bell What's That Funny Smell?
Little Bo Peep Has Knickers That Bleep

Hope you get as much out of them as we do.
RX

Thursday 9 July 2009

The King Of Pop

"So who is the king of pop mummy, is it Michael Jackson or Elvis" , asked Lauren tonight when she got in from school.

"Err, well that depends" I replied, "probably on how old you are".

"Well the boys in my class and I were chatting at break time, and we think its Michael Jackson because we don't even remember Elvis".

Fair enough, can't argue with that.

Lauren is totally and utterly engrossed in the whole Michael Jackson deal since his death. She was introduced to him about six months ago when Chris downloaded Man In The Mirror and played it to the kids in the car one day. They loved it, learnt all the words really quickly and requested it on all journeys, over and over.

Last summer it was Angels by Robbie Williams that we played to death, whilst on holidya in Cornwall, and then Pretender by The Foo Fighters, so we've moved on to a new thing with Jacko.

Lauren also asked me after we spent last friday night viewing videos, mainly Thriller and Bad, the longer versions, " How come he was black when he was little and white when he was an adult". That took some explaining!!

We've even had a Michael Jackson tribute concert in the playroom put together primarliy by Ben but with Nat and Lauren being given supporting roles! Ben was Micheal, complete with half mast black trousers, white fluffy socks and a large red shirt - he even got the moon walking moves off to a tee. Very entertaining.

Laurens got Bad on her Ipod and wanders round the house singing loudly with the headphones in her ears unable to hear herself, and tonight she fell asleep to him seranading her.

Wonder how many people around the world are doing what my kids are doing right now. Funny thing death.
RX

Monday 29 June 2009

Footballs

We seem to be the only family out there who watched the England under 21s playing in the final against Germany this evening, as Andy Murray was on the other side playing his heart out at Wimbledon.

We did this because, Ben, my nine year old is craaaaaaaaazy about football. As is his brother ,Nat, but as he's only five we managed to distract him enough by Winnie the Pooh audio bedtime stories to get him out of the way before the match started.

We're keeping Morrisons in Wetherby going at the moment buying 99p footballs because the boys, and Lauren too, play with them to death and they pop. Suppose for 99p what can we expect.

This Sunday morning the boys started out with two balls each of varying colours and it was all going swimmingly until Nat kicked Bens ball into a particularly prickly bush. The balls are insubstantial to say the least and sure enough it went pop. Ben was furious as he thought Nat had done it on purpose (and yes by the glint in his eye I'd have to agree) so to get his own back ,Ben (who is nine and really should know better) popped one of Nats balls with a pair of kitchen scissors!!!

His dad came along at this moment and having not been part of the earlier escapades promptly sent Ben to his room.

Ben took it on the chin and came down later to play MORE football with Nat. How it happened I don't know but they managed to pop two more balls between them and came in asking for us to have another trip to Morrisons.

Chris (dad) put his foot down. I love it when he does this because it doesn't happen very often. The boys sulked for a full two minutes, and then played on their bikes instead.

Sure there is a moral to this story but not sure what it is..................RX

Tuesday 23 June 2009

FLIPS

Nathaniel, my five year old, who is well too cool for school has just learnt a new trick - he can do a front flip off the end of the settee. He's very, very proud of himself, and was even practising in the tent last weekend when he went camping with his dad, and brother and sister.

He literally stands on the end of the settee (I gave up trying to stop them jumping on it years ago) throws himself forward and somersaults in the air and lands on his back on the soft cushions.

Today, we were at his regular GYMBOBS class (big plug for Janine, because it's a fab club and she and her staff are so enthusiastic) and he was doing the circuit which involved jumping onto a soft gym horse and jumping off the other side, landing on a mat and doing a forward roll.

Nathaniel,however, decided to treat everybody to his new trick without any prior warning, much to Janines horror and amazement. Instead of jumping off the gym horse he literally flipped in the air and landed with his feet together in a perfect 10/10 olympic finish.

While Janine was having a small heart attack and shouting something at me about her public liability insurance, Roger one of her helpers just pointed at Nat and shouted "that was sooooooooooooooo cool".

He smiled sweetly and just moved onto the next apparatus.

Monday 15 June 2009

CAMPING

I am not a camper, never have been and never will be. Give me a five star hotel with fluffy robe and slippers, a mini bar and some bubble bath and I'm sorted. So how I found myself in a tent in the garden with my three children on a Saturday night has me baffled.

It all started when their dad said he'd take them camping next weekend, on his own. He didn't even invite me because he knows the answer. The kids were so excited and went to choose a tent; the largest tent I've ever seen (well nearly, apart from my friend Marias, she has a lounge with a blow up settee and rugs, and three bedrooms!).

So, as it was a nice day on Saturday, Chris and Ben decided to put the tent up whilst Lauren, Nat and I were in the theatre watching Joseph. We returned to see every square inch of the lawn taken up with a very high tech looking tent.

Of course, the kids wanted to sleep in it that night, and eat their tea in it - Chris had bought a table with four chairs (four not five, I was not in the calculation). It was agreed then Chris and the children would sleep in the tent and I would look after the cats and sleep in my comfortable warm bed.

Hours later though, I was told things had changed and that the kids had voted for mummy to camp and daddy to sleep in the house. They felt sorry for me because I'm missing the weekend away next week (but honestly I didn't mind a bit), so wanted to make me feel better by allowing me the chance to sleep under the stars!! Aaaah, bless them.

They pestered, and pestered, and so................ I gave in. I did insist on having my duvet, sheet and pillows rather than a sleeping bag though, so they made my bed up for me and we had a little snack at the table early evening (with daddy) and got into our beds.

That's when the mayhem started. Giddy is an understatement. All three of them were bouncing around on the blow up beds, throwing pillows and giggling. I let it happen and even joined in abit and actually found myself enjoying it.

Two hours later we were reading Horrid Henrys Underpants and they were lying still. Then we heard a car, and a loud hello, and two heads popped round the door of the tent. Jennie, my mate and her husband Richard had called round for a nosey. They're caravanners (new to it), and Jennie couldn't beleive I was in a tent!

That was it, the kids were giddy again. Jennie got into my bed; we called 'room service' (Chris, in the house) and he brought out the wine and we had a natter and a giggle with the kids showing off the tent and my new jeep.

At 10.45pm Nat was beside himself so the kids and I excused ourselves and the other three adults retired to the house. The four of us went to sleep quite quickly but were rudely awoken pretty soon after by some rather large heavy rain drops on the tent.

Lauren hated it, and ran into the house where Jennie put her to bed while Chris and Richard were fumbling around in the dark trying to put the roof back on my car. The boys went back to sleep.

Two hours later Ben woke me up saying he couldn't sleep so he too went back into the house to his bed.

That left me and Nat snuggled under my duvet where we had a lovely sleep until 7.30am the following morning.

What a palava! How Chris is going to cope next weekend I'm not sure. But I didn't enjoy it so much that I'm volunteering to join him to help!

Monday 8 June 2009

FREEZER BAGS

I asked Ben if he'd run into our local Sainsburys the other evening to buy a bag of freezer bags. Lauren, Nat and I stayed in the car and watched Ben from outside going up and down each aisle, obviously unable to find said item.

He came out empty handed claiming that they didn't have any. When quizzed he said he didn't like to ask the assistant, and couldn't see them himself.

So, Lauren said she'd go back with him to find them.

This time, Nat and I watched the two of them giggling up and down the aisles for ages, and they still came back empty handed.

It turned out that the assistant was an ex school pupil and they were so in awe of him they daren't ask for what they wanted. Bless!

But,have no fear, little brother came to the rescue. "I'll find them mummy" he said, jumping out of the car with Ben and Lauren close on his heels.

He marched in, straight up to the young assistant and asked where the freezer bags were. The three of them were then escorted to the correct aisle and came out beaming, with a bar of chocolate as well as the bags.

Result! Nat was most proud of himself for the rest of the day.
RX

Friday 5 June 2009

TIME

I'm in a bit of a reflective mood today, just thinking how quickly my three children are growing and how time runs away with us and there is nothing we can do about it.

I sometimes get so bogged down with what I'm doing that I don't get down to the kids level - literally or metaphorically, and feel a little bit guilty, like most parents Im sure, that I don't give them enough quality time.

This morning Nat (aged five) seemed to say "mummy" every two minutes and as I was busy trying to fit allsorts in before school I got a little bit short with him. He just wanted to be close to me and for me to give him some attention and what I did give him just wasn't enough. So he played up, because any attention is better than none, negative or positive.

I left him at school upset and not wanting to stay. He's usually so happy go lucky and I left in a sombre mood. Hope he soon cheers up. I can't wait to see him at the end of his day, and have, of course, vowed to make it up to him later today in my mind!

I find one of the best ways to get close to my three is to have a tickling match. They love it and we all roll around in a tangle of limbs and they giggle away. It lifts my heart and I keep telling Nat that his laugh is my happy thought if I'm feeling down and he's not there.

So 3.30pm this afternoon, thats what I'll be instigating in my house. After the sweet shop of course, it is Friday after all.

Sunday 24 May 2009

RESILIENCE

Laurens first tooth started to come through black and crooked. I pointed it out to the health visitor the minute I saw it and she said it'll be fine wait and see. It wasn't and we had numerous trips to the dentist for it to be monitored every millimetre it protruded through her gum.

Chris and I were traumatised at the time, children's teeth are so precious, and it was her very first one; our poor gorgeous little girl.

Eventually we were told it was a malformed tooth; why this happens is still a mystery but it was suggested that said tooth be removed.

OK, but how to remove a tooth from a tiny child was the next hurdle. No one wants their child to be in pain for any reason, and as I have a dreadful fear of dentists it worried me more than most.

In the end it was decided, well I decided, that Chris should take her. We were booked into the Leeds General Infirmary dental department early one morning. We dropped Benjy off at the child minder and drove down to the hospital.

I sat outside in the waiting room while Chris took Lauren in to sit in the dentists chair,on his knee. She had no idea what was about to happen to her, which we figured was a good thing.

I paced around for what seemed like hours, listening for the screaming to start. But it never did. All was quiet, and eventually daddy and daughter emerged. Chris looked shattered and rather pale and was covered it blood splatters; Lauren looked her gorgeous normal self, minus her little black tooth.

She'd been amazing all the way through apparently, very brave and perhaps because she wasn't anticipating anything nasty happening took it all in her stride.

We took her back to the car where we'd got a Marks and Spencer picnic waiting - more for us than her, but she wolfed it down no problem.

The moral of the story is :it's easy to forget just how resilient our children really are!

Sunday 17 May 2009

INNOCENCE

Nat talking to Ben and Lauren the other day " I got a six pound note from Auntie Nise for Easter".

" You can't get a six pound note" replied Lauren.

"You can in his world" quipped Ben!

And...........

Our neighbour, Maurice, very sadly died a few weeks ago. He was over eighty and had a fantastic life, however his widow Rosa is now alone. Nat and I were talking about it, and I said Maurice had gone to be a star in the sky with our cat Biscuit, who also very sadly died two years ago.

Nat said " I know why Maurice died mummy, he ate too many sweeteners. Sweeteners are bad for you, aren't they mummy". Oh dear, think I may have banged on about them abit too much (won't let the kids have Fruitshoots because they're full of them). His little view, in all its innocence would have really amused Maurice.
RX

Saturday 16 May 2009

DETERMINATION

I decided Nathaniel, who is 5, should learn to ride his bike without stabilisers yesterday. He agreed, amazing, so we set to work.

He went into the garage, found his dads tool kit and located the correct spanner to remove them, and even had a go at doing it himself.So far I was well impressed.

We took one off - disaster! He rode round in circles.

We took the other one off, and he climbed aboard. I held tight to the back of the seat with one hand and off we went, up and down the paving at the side of the house.

Whilst concentrating so hard on riding he was unable to use the brakes at the same time (he is in training to be a man after all!) and so the fence and the gate were crashed into each time we turned around. But it didn't deter him.

He insisted I let go of the seat and promptly put his feet down saying he couldn't do it. He had a temper tantrum, picked up the bike and threw it down saying he'd never be able to do it. Luckily, the bike is made of sturdy stuff, and so is he because two mintues later he'd climbed back on and we went backwards and forwards another dozen times.

Each time I held on to the seat with less of a grip until eventually just one finger stopped him doing it on his own. His dad came back from doing the shopping (very domesticated) just in time to see Nat ride without me or stabilisers.

I ran for the camera. He was off, back and forth with the biggest grin on his face. What a fantastic sight and what a fantastic achievement in his little life.

I asked him how he felt and he said " I feel very happy mummy". Bless him, he's gorgeous.

I've added that to be one of my happy thoughts, along with him laughing, which is one of the best things ever, and the way we say we goodnight : " Love you little", I say, "Hate you big" ,he replies.

Children are so prescious, really ,and they grow up so quickly. This blog will serve as great memories for me. Rx

Friday 15 May 2009

CHEESE

Ben was just two years old and Lauren was just two months old. It was a Friday and Grandad was with us.

He still visits every Friday, and the kids get very excited partly because Grandad's coming and partly because it's treat day and he buys them sweets!

Anyway, on this particular Friday to give me a rest while Lauren had her lunchtime nap, Grandad said he'd take Ben out for a little drive and go up to Leeds/Bradford airport to watch the planes for a while.

I got him ready and he was dead excited. It was only his second time out on his own with Grandad.

When they'd gone I put Lauren to bed and had a lovely time pottering about the house, I read a magazine, tidied up abit and Lauren slept for hours; bliss.

Ben unfortunately didn't have quite such a nice time as we found out when they got back.

Grandad and he watched some planes at the airport, and he really enjoyed it, and concentrated for as long as can be expected from a two year old (not that long!).

They then set off back. Ben said he was thirsty and not wanting to stop Grandad looked around his car and found a drinks bottle. Assuming it contained water he passed it back to Ben who was strapped into his child seat. Ben apparently took a great big glug from the bottle and..........spat the contents back all over the car, and the back of Grandad, and screamed and cried for the rest of the way home.

The drinks bottle as it turned out contained milk, from their previous trip out A WHOLE WEEK before - so you can imagine how revolting and sour the milk was; it was almost cheese! Poor kid got the shock of his life when he tasted it.

Unfortunately Grandad has never been allowed to forget his dreadful error, I think it's scarred Ben for life!

THANKYOU

I'd like to say a big thankyou to FAMILIES magazine, both Leeds and York for mentioning me and my blog in their latest issues.

FAMILIES magazine is a great free local magazine featuring lots of really interesting stuff for mums and dads with kids. I love the pages that detail what's happening in and around the area. Very useful for filling those long holiday days! Wild West Week at Royal Armouries is top of my list for half term!

So thankyou to Sarah Butters (Leeds) and to Belinda (York) for their kind words.

Pick up your local copy - I get mine from Wetherby library, have also seen them in Starbucks on Street Lane, Leeds.
RX

HANNAH MONTANA

Lauren is totally and utterly addicted to Hannah Montana. It's on in our house every day for as long as she can get away with it. If I'm busy (bad mum) it's a little too long!

The other day I decided to see what all the fuss was about, as the boys were getting 'sucked in' to what I believed was a trashy American soap as well. We all sat down in our snug and watched one episode from start to finish. I challenged them at the beginning by saying " OK guys, at the end of this show I'd like you to tell me what you've learnt from this programme".

Twenty minutes later I have to admit, I'd really enjoyed it. Yep OK it was full of cheap 'gags' and Billy Ray Cyrus is not the best actor in the world, but it was harmless and Dolly Parton made a guest appearance which made my day. Always been a fan of hers!

"So", I said as the credits came on the screen. " What did you learn from that, anything?" Immediately Benj piped up with "Yes mummy, I learnt that you should always give people a second chance - and that we should turn anger into love". Wow, wow and wow - I was bowled over. That was exactly what I took from it too!

So, next time you think your kids have glazed over, and are getting nothing out of the TV other than square eyes (my mum used to say it to me and my sister all the time, and now I say it to my kids!) why not ask them some questions. You may be pleasantly surprised.


On the strength of that,I took Lauren to see the Hannah Montana movie on Saturday too, and that was well entertaining. Really lively, colourful, full of messages! and some great songs. Mostly girls in the audience, and they actually clapped and cheered when it finished - and I joined in too!
RX

Tuesday 12 May 2009

SHARKS

I planned it meticulously with my mother. She was to have Lauren, aged nearly one, for the day, while Chris and I took Ben, aged just three to the cinema for the first time, and then out for tea.

The film was Finding Nemo. He'd seen pictures in a magazine, we'd talked about it alot, and we'd read all the reviews. It all seemed perfect for our first borns initial cinema experience.

Lauren resisted being left with Gran that day, (kids have such a sixth sense don't they?), and so we were a little late arriving in Leeds. We parked at the Light and Ben was fascinated by the lifts. We bought the tickets, bought him some sweeties and headed for Screen 1, the biggest.

He was so excited he could hardly contain himself.We opened the doors, and his face changed a little. It was dark inside, and neither of us had thought to tell him this. I lifted him up and reassured him and we walked towards the seats. By this time we were really quite late and the cinema was heaving.

We walked down the centre aisle and could just see row after row of full seats.We walked up and down a while and thought we were going to be out of luck when Chris spotted three seats on the front row.

Not ideal, as the screen was huge, and we were just about three feet away, but beggars can't be choosers and we so desperately didn't want to upset our little boy. So we sat down, opened the sweets and made ourselves comfortable.

But not for long! The trailers ended, and Finding Nemo was next up. The music came first; deafening music, and Bens face fell. And it was very loud. He jumped on my knee - ok, I thought not the end of the world if he sits on my knee for two hours. Then the film started. Lots of lovely, colourful little fishes swimming around was what I had imagined and what we'd talked about - certainly not what came next.

The opening credits had just finished when - WHAM - a gi-normous shark came tearing towards us, filling the entire screen with its pointed teeth and flaring nostrils.

Ben screamed, and screamed and screamed and we left the cinema. That was it, his first cinema experience over in five minutes.

Note to film producers - is there really any need to scare the life out of your target audience, when most of them are under eight years old?!

Not that he's been scarred for life but it took us a good few years before Ben would return to the cinema. When he did, I took him to see Jungle Book. And yes, it was full of colourful little creatures and a friendly happy jungle boy who sang nice songs. Perfect.

Friday 8 May 2009

FADS

We have a new 'fad' in our house, or at least the children do. It just happens to be my favourite one of all time though, so I'm happy to give them my time to play with these little plastic things called GOGOS.

They come in packs of three, in case you're not aware and they cost 99p - you get stickers too though, which makes the price quite reasonable, according to my kids!

Lauren saved up, or conned her Gran, I'm not sure which, and today we had a delivery of thirty packets.Yes, thirty packets! My Dad, who is seperated from my mum was horrified and declared that she spoils Lauren. Err, I have to agree having seen the Gogos all over the floor of our snug after she'd emptied them out.

I had lots of fun sorting these pleasing little plastic 'creatures' into colours though, which my dad labelled obsessive and my husband agreed (charming, I just think I have an organised mind).

Lauren took one look at them when I'd spent the best part of half an hour lining them all up, and exclaimed at the cute ones, and declared that even with one hundred plus (she had some already) the one she REALLY wanted wasn't there!

Some people are never satisified, can't imagine where she gets it from.............

Friday 24 April 2009

FIRE

Nathaniel (aged 5) and I spent a hilarious half hour playing on his Nintendo DS tonight. He's good, I'm hopeless, so what happens is that he does most of a 'level' and just as he's about to complete it he passes it to me and I get the flag! How sweet is that. We went upstairs shortly afterwards and he piped up :

"Mummy, if you're still alive I'll teach you how to get on to the next level on my Nintendo".

"Thanks" I said, "I sure hope I will be, shall we do it tomorrow? "

" Well I might not be alive either, because we do have lots of fires at school you know. We had one today and two people died!"

Turns out he'd had a fire drill for the first time. Goodness knows what his teacher had said!

Tuesday 21 April 2009

TEETH CASTLES

Lauren, aged 7, lost her second tooth yesterday, hooray! At last, the rest of the family cheered as she'd been miserable and bad tempered fiddling about it with it for what seemed like days!

It happened at school and her teacher, obviosuly having had this sort of thing happen before, wrapped it up in kitchen roll and put her name on the front. And that is how it was placed under her pillow; along with a note specifically telling the tooth fairy when the tooth had come out and that she would like two pounds to spend in exchange for said tooth. Ha, ha, since when was this the way to speak to a mythical creature?

This morning she rushed in to wake me, clutching the two pounds (nothing to do with me, she has her father wrapped around her little finger), and exclaiming about how fab the tooth fairy was.

Nat, aged five, followed shortly behind and so a three way discussion began starting with Lauren. " I saw her in my bedroom mummy, going like this". She fluttered tiny imaginary wings. "I saw her going past my bedroom door like this" said Nat, fluttering gi-normous imaginary wings - not allowing his sister to outdo him!

The discussion went on with Lauren deciding that there MUST be more than one tooth fairy, as children lose their teeth every day of the year so the tooth fairy would be run off her feet if she were the only one. Unlike Father Christmas who only has to work on one night of the year and sleeps for the rest?!

" What does she do with all the teeth " piped up Nat. "She builds a tooth castle" I said - isn't that how the story goes? They batted this idea backwards and forwards thankfully leaving me to get ready, deciding that the bigger teeth would go on the bottom and the smaller ones on the top and that the castle sits on a cloud.

Monday 6 April 2009

FRUITY

A few years ago a friend of mine had gone to the pub for Sunday lunch with her husband, daughter (nine year old) and their extended families.

It's a lovely cosy, country pub with lots of log fires and comfy seats, so they had settled themselves around a few tables ready to relax and enjoy a few drinks and a lovely meal.

After ordering drinks at the bar, they were perusing the food menu when their daughter piped up that she needed the toilet. Mum pointed her in the right direction and off she trotted on her own.

The adults were engrossed in conversation and suddenly realised daughter had not yet returned. Just before investigating though, she appeared at the table with what mum recognised was her 'inquisitive head' on!

Just as mummy took a swig of Budweiser from her glass: "Mummy" daughter said in an extremely loud voice, sure enough, question coming, " Whats a condom?!"

Mummy gulped hard and managed to spill Budweiser all over her chin.

Daughter had apparently seen a machine in the toilet, and that was what had taken the time for her to come back!

Oh oh , thought Mum, how do I answer this one!

Just need to point out that my friend is very frank generally, calls a spade a spade and has no problem with explanations, but this one needed careful thought and her daughter was waiting expectantly - as were half the pub!!!!

Deep breath she thought, and launched into a long winded explanation on the birds and the bees and where condoms fitted in to all this. The rest of the pub had gone quiet as they all listened with baited breath to hear how she would handle it.

"Ok?" she said eventually, as she finished ,breathed a sigh of relief and took another large swig of Budweiser (her favourite tipple).

"Well why are they fruity" said her daughter!

Oh Oh! More Bud down mums chin!!

It's a classic story and my friend tells it so well. Hope you enjoyed my version. RX

Thursday 2 April 2009

HAIR WASH

We all went to watch Benjamin (who's nearly nine) play football at the local club last Sunday morning. It was a glorious sunny morning, the team were winning one-nil and I was busy chatting to some of the other mums and enjoying the sun, whilst watching my lad run about the field with his mates.

Nathaniel (now five),whom I had been watching from a distance ,honest, as he played on the other side of the pitch with his sister Lauren and friend, appeared by my side and started tugging my coat.

I turned to hear him say "Mummy, my hair feels all wet". I looked down and OH MY GOD! His hair was the same colour as mine (plum!). It took a second to register that it was in fact blood and it was still pumping out of a gash on the top of his head. My husband appeared and took one look and said "Oh, it'll be alright". I was nearly hyperventilating so my friend said "No it won't it needs sorting".

Chris and I carried him across the field between us to the car, listening to his wailing all the way. Not because his head was hurting but because he really didn't want to go to hospital.

He'd apparently bumped into one of the large concrete posts that make up the fencing around the ground, he told us through sobs.

We bribed him to get him in the car with the chance to listen to the Foo Fighters, which was a small price for me to have to pay all the way to Harrogate A and E!

Once at the hospital, he was fine. The bleeding had stopped, he was smiling again and all was well in his little world, especially as they had books to look at. We read them all over and over, had a drink from the machine, went to the toilet, read some more and then it was our turn.

He spoke very clearly to the very nice doctor when he asked him what he'd done, and to the nurse when she came to wash his head (no gentle technique here) and glue the wound together.

But the best bit for him was when the doctor came back and said "Now listen young man, you know you won't be able to wash your hair for five whole days now!"

Nat made a fist, pulled his arm into his side and shouted "Yes,get in!!!!!!!!!!!".

Friday 13 March 2009

GORGEOUS

Tonight, Nathaniel, my five year old was snuggled up on my knee before bed and I had a real emotional moment when I realised that he's my baby and he's growing up so quickly.

He's gorgeous, he's beautiful and he's very, very cool. Here are lots of reasons why :

I say to him "I love you Little" and he replys " I hate you Big!" (with a grin).

He asks the waiter in Ask to put more 'snow' cheese all over his pasta!

He cuddles his soft toy 'cat' as he's going to sleep and asks me if I love hime more than Cadburys world!

He invites me to snuggle up in his bed as he's going to sleep and says "I love it when you lie with me mummy".

He rides his scooter all around the kitchen without falling off.

He can tell a joke all the way through - this one " Why did the orange go to the doctors?", "because he wasn't peeling very right!".

He thinks sex is when two men kiss.

He puts his shoes on the wrong feet, and doesn't even notice.

He giggles when I tickle him and tell him his giggle is my happy thought when I'm feeling down.

He listens to the Foo Fighters, Never Surrender, as he's going to sleep, and finds it relaxing.

He can do a press up on a medicine ball.

He idolises his big brother and sister.

He rides his bike with no fear.

He likes Sex On Fire by Kings Of Leon I Don't Feel Like Dancing by the Scissor Sisters and sings to them loudly.

He calls a unicorn a "horsicorn".

He gives me a big kiss and hug before he goes into his classroom every morning at school (Ben runs a mile if I even attempt to go anywhere near him!)

And lots, lots more .............
I'm feeling sentimental this evening.I'd like to stop time and I ask him, and Ben and Lauren, regularly, to stop growing and stay just as they are. They'll all always be my babies and I'll always adore them. And they'll never really know how much.

Tuesday 10 March 2009

SEX,

Not really a subject for a children's blog you may think? But I was in the car with two of my children and one of their friends on Sunday and Sex On Fire by Kings Of Leon came on the Ipod. It's a top tune and we all sang along merrily, not really thinking about the words, at least I wasn't!

All of a sudden Nat pipes up " I know what sex is Mummy". Lauren and Alice giggled, and I asked him matter of factly "what is it babe?".

He replied "It's when two men kiss". Interesting.

"No", says Lauren "That's gay". Interesting.

" Yes", I said, trying to regain some control, " When two people of the same sex kiss, they do tend to be gay".

"Oh " says Nat and carries on playing on his Nintendo.

" I know what sex is Mummy" Says Lauren in a very animated fashion. "It's when they take their clothes off".

That'll do me for now. Kings of Leon finished and was replaced by the Stereo Mcs - Deep Down and Dirty! Think we're going to have to modify the Ipod shuffle songs sometime soon!

Friday 6 March 2009

KIND BIG BROTHER

A few years ago when Ben and Lauren were aged just three and just one, Chris and I were staying in a country house hotel with my sister and her partner for the weekend. The four of us (Chris, me and the children) had a family room which consisted of a double bed, single bed and we'd put Laurens travel cot up in the middle of the room.

Having established early on in the day that our baby monitor would work downstairs in the dining room, we booked dinner for 8pm thinking both kids would be asleep by then, and we could have a very civilised meal and a good few glasses of something fizzy (me anyway, Chris is not a champers person - Becks every time).

We bathed the kids at 6pm, got their pyjamas on and read them lots of stories snuggled up on the bed. My plan was working like a dream and we left the two of them at 7.45pm asleep in their respective beds.

We were well into our meal and feeling pretty merry on our chosen alocholic drinks when we heard noises coming from the monitor. The children were having a little natter! At least Benjy was talking away to Lauren and she was making baby gurgling noises back. Oh how sweet we thought, until we heard Ben ask Lauren if she'd like a pillow in her cot!!!!

We've never moved so fast up a flight of stairs in our lives, and got there just as he was about to put said pillow into the travel cot for his sisters head - what a very kind big brother!!

Tuesday 3 March 2009

NEW WORD

Five year olds are very cute when trying to use the English language. I could listen to Nathaniel for hours as he spouts forth! It amuses Lauren (she's seven but very eloquent) too and the two of us sit with him and giggle - he doesn't mind.

This morning he was painting, in one of those special clean and safe painting books that I like so much, where he just has to brush water over the picture and colour appears (a great invention).

I asked him what he was painting and he replied " a HORSICORN mummy!". Sure enough there on the page was a horse/unicorn cross! Logical?

One of his first phrases was "YUM DUM DAMMER" when somethings great. That caught on in our house and we now use it all the time. Top saying!

Sunday 22 February 2009

RUDE NOISES

Whatever next - my husband has the I Fart game on his I phone, and you guessed it, my five year old, Nathaniel loves it. It makes the most disgusting noises, the louder the better as far as he's concerned.

Chris made the mistake of taking the boys into the office with him on Friday, whilst I was working and they were off school for half term.

Nat apparently made a total nuisance of himself, going up behind people with the I Phone and pressing the button to make a hideous farting noise. Most of the guys were amused and laughed it off - men are often proud of the noises their bottoms produce after all aren't they (at least some of them are, I'm generalising but it's not Chris's thing at all thank goodness).

The females on the other hand were mortified that their colleagues may think these toilet noises were coming from them, and shooed my little boy away as quickly as possible, at the same time shouting that it really wasn't them it was the I Phone.

Nat's still laughing about it now!

His most recent joke : Why did the skeleton cross the road? To kill the banana! (love to get inside his head one day!)

Tuesday 17 February 2009

Saturday 14 February 2009

COMEDIAN

Nat, my just turned five year old has suddenly turned into a little comedian. Or so he thinks! Judge for yourselves!

"When I burp it tastes horrible because these are really spicy ". He was eating fruit pastilles!

Q:" What do you call a one legged donkey?"

A:" A wonky - donkey!"

Like that one!


Q:"What do you call a poohing kangaroo?"

A:" A poohing kangaroo"

This one's doing the rounds in Reception class at the moment. Bless!

Thursday 12 February 2009

SNOW

Our kids had the best day in the snow ever on Sunday. We've had a light covering for over a week now and they'd not been bothered to go out, but on Sunday emptied the garage to find some "sledges". They tried a see saw, but that was a bit slow. They tried some ordinary sledges, but they were abit dull. In the end they settled on some blow up boats that we take to Cornwall every summer. They were perfect, especially with a running jump into them from the end of the garden!

When I've worked out how to upload videos on to Youtube, I'll put some footage up here - I'm a bit of a technophobe .Watch this space................

BITS AND PIECES

Ben aged 4 said the following little sentences - bless him, they're lovely :

"Mummy, why has the ironing board got a new suit on?"

"Look at that journey over there!"

" Why does Kent have spots all over his face?" (freckles)

"Who body's looking after me tonight mummy?"

"Mummy, daddy left the window open last night so that the dark could come in!"

"I had a bad mood mummy!"

"Turn the moon on daddy please"

"That's a bit loudy"

"It's awfully raining"

We took Ben to a Westlife concert when he was six, and he was most perturbed by all the screaming women in the audience. He turned to me and said " Mummy, could you ask them all to be quiet please, I can't here the band !"

Wednesday 11 February 2009

FAMILIES MAGAZINE

Came across a great freebie magazine in my local library the other day, thought you might like to have a read if you get chance. Its full of local information and interesting articles on family life.

For more info. go to www.familiesvoy.co.uk.

Enjoy.RX

LEEDS UNITED

I've got Ben, my big boy, off school today with something yucky that seems to be doing the rounds. Quite enjoying his company although Pokemon on the TV is getting a little repetitive ( I know I should be stricter and have him in bed in a darkened room but........).

Anyway, we went to the docs earlier. Thought I should be diligent as this is his third day off. I want to blog about it because it was such a pleasant experience! The doctor in question was a stand in, and had just such a lovely manner with Ben.

I think it helped that Ben turned up in one of his dads Leeds United t shirts, a little over sized for him, but he loves it. It was a great conversation starter as it had to be lifted up for a very cold stethescope to be placed on Bens chest and back.

They chatted backwards and forwards about the new manager, how hopeless the team have been for a while, and how they actually won a game on Monday evening. Yes they really did, apparently! (not a big fan myself).

The doc was quite sympathetic with Ben until he asked him to lie down and lift his tshirt to expose his tummy. He's been complaining of tummy ache so this area was next for examination.

As soon as his tummy was touched Ben broke out into peals of laughter (Ben is most ticklish and often asks me to tickle him at home, aaaah bless!), at which point the doc said he couldn't take him seriously anymore and I should send him to school tomorrow - definitely!

That was music to my ears - no more daytime Pokemon!

Saturday 7 February 2009

BOGEYS!!

Chatting to Nat last night he was busy sitting with his finger up his nose, then putting said finger in his mouth. I asked him what he was doing and he replied " I like to taste my bogeys mummy!" YUK!

Half an hour later my sister, Liz, texted me to say her daughter Jessica, who is three and a half, had said to her earlier in the day "Isn't it annoying when bogeys get stuck in your back teeth!" YUK again!

Just too much information altogether, don't you think?!

Sunday 1 February 2009

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

If a child lives with criticism,
He learns to condemn.
If a child lives with hostility,
He learns to fight.
If a child lives with ridicule,
He learns to be shy.
If a child lives with shame,
He learns to be guilty.


If a child lives with tolerance,
He learns to be patient.
If a child lives with encouragement,
He learns confidence.
If a child lives with praise,
He learns to appreciate.
If a child lives with fairness,
He learns justice.


If a child lives with security,
He learns to have faith.
If a child lives with approval,
He learns to like himself.
If a child lives with acceptance and friendship,
He learns to find love in the world.

ANON.

ELVIS

I was driving through Thorner (where my mum lives) the other day with all three children in the car and as we drove past the church yard Nat piped up : " I've been in the church mummy. I knocked on every grave but there was no one in! "

Laurens response "Who's there - Elvis?" !!?

Surreal.

Saturday 31 January 2009

EXPENSIVE

I noticed stagnant water had appeared in the shower tray of our basement bathroom the other day - we very rarely use it. I tried to flush the loo and nothing happened. Time to call out a plumber.

I rang our resident local plumber as he'd installed the bathroom, but he was less than keen to come out (suprise suprise) and directed me to a Saniflow man. As the bathroom is below ground we had to have a saniflow system installed (yeah exciting information I know but its important for you to get the story so bear with me please!)

So, I booked Mr Saniflow in, he came with buckets and rubber gloves and some long implements vaguely resembling hoses and I left him to it, whilst I blogged in the kitchen.

He spent ages going backwards and forwards with bucket loads of revolting looking water, and I kept reminding myself how lucky I am to do the job that I do, and not his.

Eventually he appeared in the doorway with a handful of objects. " These are what are causing the problem" he said as he showed me a ping pong ball, a bouncy ball, a long thin paint brush and a handful of baby wipes!

My lovely little angelic four year old had happily been stuffing said objects down the toilet without us being aware - remiss parenting definitely!

"You'll need a new pump, the old one's completely ruined" said Mr Saniflow. Great I thought, that sounds very straight forward. So I told him to go ahead and order one.

As he was leaving I asked how much a new pump was, thinking £30 - £40 quid (plumbing parts not being my forte; but if you asked me about Juicy Couture tracksuits in Harvey Nichols I could tell you to the penny!). "Oh, approx six hundred and fifty pounds including labour " he said casually.

After I'd picked myself up off the floor, I decided Nats pocket money will have to be stopped for the rest of his life to pay for it. Now just to tell him!

Monday 26 January 2009

CONFUSION

It's hard being a three year old and making sense of the world, as the following demonstrates, but so lovely to record and read back.
Ben was nearly three when he said these :

Ben told his daddy the weather forecast " Daddy the wind will be 46, I got it from the lady on the telly".

Ben's Auntie Doe asked him his age and he said "three forty two".

I asked him what he weighed as he stood on the scales and he said "three years!"

He took his Grans glasses off and said " I can't see you now Gran".

This one's a little more logical! "If we play with our cats too much mummy we'll smell of cats because Hannah has a dog and she smells of dog"

Bless him!

Thursday 22 January 2009

JOKE

Laurens latest offering (Jan 2009)

Knock, knock.
Who's there?

Stew.
Stew who?

Stew early to go to bed!!

Tuesday 20 January 2009

BIG CAT

Lynne, my friend and I were busy chatting away in the playroom of our house in Ilkley. Lynne has Harry who is very close in age to Ben, and then they were both just under two. Lynne had also just had a baby, Oliver, who was in the playroom with us.

Harry and Ben were chasing around like two year olds do, but seemed perfectly happy so we left them to it, giving us chance to coo over baby Oliver and have a good old natter.

Suddenly, there was screaming, real loud proper screaming - coming from one of the boys, from around the corner. I jumped up and diligently rushed in the direction of the noise.

What I saw will stay with me a long time!Bens bottom was up in the air and his arms flailing around whilst his head was nowhere to be seen. On closer inspection, I could see that it was stuck in the cat flap in the front door!!!!!!

Don't panic Ruth I said to myself, jumping up and down on the spot. Harry was screaming too by now as Lynne joined me in the hall carrying Oliver.

What to do now? Join in with the screaming?Phone the fire brigade? Saw off the side off the door? Pull Ben backwards? Push Ben forwards?

After assessing the situation for a few minutes (poor Ben, but we had to think about it!) Lynne and I came up with a plan. Much as both of us would have loved some hunky firemen to come rushing round we decided we needed to take matters into our own hands.

I took hold of Bens torso whilst lynne opened the front door, manouvering him backwards with the door keeping his head still. It was well and truly stuck and he continued to scream. I talked soothingly to him telling him of our plan.

The plan was this: Lynne pushed Bens head gently from one side, while I pulled the whole of him back from the other side. At first it looked like he wouldn't shift, but then he had a tiny movement, he screamed louder but we continued. Eventually, with a pop, his head came free.

Poor kid was traumatised for a while and had two lovely red raw 'scrapes' down either side of his head which took a week to disappear.

And the moral of the story is : cat flaps really are just for cats. A hard lesson to learn when you're just two!

Monday 19 January 2009

PETS

By Lauren, aged 6.
20th October 2008

I have a pet,
He loves a ball,
He loves his food,
He gobbles it all.

He loves a walk,
And he does what I say,
He loves to play,
I wish he could talk.

Sunday 18 January 2009

WINE MAKING

It was the last day of half term. and Ben was in year two. I was chatting away to the other mums in the playground and heard my name being called by the teacher. Whoops, my immediate thought was, what had he done !? (why I don't know because he's not and never has been a bad kid).

She asked me to go inside the classroom, and I duly followed still wondering what was going on.

She said she had something to show me. She said "you know all those grapes you've been sending down for Bens break time snack, Mrs Goodwin" (every day for the whole of half term in a little plastic bag at Bens request - he doesn't eat much fruit but red seedless grapes had always been a favourite).

"Well", she said laughing, as she pulled out Bens tray from the cabinet, "this is just a theory but I don't think he likes them anymore".

The tray came out virtually steaming, and full to the brim of bags of red grapes , in various stages of fermenting!

Think we have a budding wine maker in the family!!

Tuesday 13 January 2009

NINE LIVES

I always thought it was cats that had nine lives. Well, last year that theory was extended to hamsters! Nat was then at nursery, and nursery had its own pet hamster - Percy, or Percy Wurce as Nat named him. I'm not terribly into little furry creatures, particularly if they in any way resemble rats, but Percy is the most divine little thing. He's golden and white and so very sociable.

We'd had him a few times before this memorable weekend, and had no problems. I was worried our five cats might take a liking to him, but they're so lazy they weren't interested. He slept in his cage in Nats room at night, and during the day did exciting things like riding toy tractors and going up the children's trouser legs.

This particular weekend started off like any other. Then, on Saturday afternoon the children were in the playroom, all playing with Percy and getting very giddy. My husband was supervising (thank goodness) and I was in our basement doing something creative.

The story goes something like this : Chris left the kids with Percy for just a minute to go the toilet, asking them to be careful and kind to the hamster before he went. They nodded and off he went. the next thing I heard was a lot of screaming and crying. I rushed up to the playroom and poor little Percy was staggering round in circles on the floor, with one of his eyes shrunk to the size of a pin prick.

Oh my goodness! Eventually when the kids had calmed down abit I established that Nat had placed Percy on top of the toy chest (which is relatively high, especially for a hamster) thinking he may like to go sky diving, but without a parachute. Percy did, diving off the end and landing head first onto the solid floor below.

Poor little Percy I thought, and how on earth do we explain a dead hamster to nursery on Monday morning?. Thinking on my feet I thought how I'd react if it one of the children, and it came to me - I'd give them arnica. I use this homeopathic remedy for any knocks, bumps or bruises and it works on them so why not on a hamster?

I crushed an arnica pill, Ben held Percy and we pushed it into his mouth. And lo and behold within half an hour Percys eye increased to match the other, and when we put him on the floor he no longer looked drunk and could potter around as normal. Major relief!

We've not volunteered to have him since though!

Monday 12 January 2009

Beasty quotes!

These have been collected over the years :

"Mummy I've got two woodlife in here " . Ben aged four.

"Benjy says I can go to his party as a dinosaur mummy, but I want to go as me". Lauren aged three.

" I've got budgies in my hair " (midges). Lauren aged three.

"Do you think the rabbits have laid any more babies ". Lauren aged three.

"I'll be quiet as a busy bee". Lauren aged three.

Nat says he makes "stuff 'n' frogs" out of his playdoh. Aged two.

"Poo - poo - potamus". Nat, aged two.

"I love you mices to pieces mum". Nat aged two.

Nat has lots of plastic frogs and takes them everywhere with him. He's named them dead mum, dead dad, and Freddie Helen!

Ben trying to get to sleep aged five, I suggested he counts tigers (he's animal mad). "Mummy I can't get to sleep tonight, I can't find the right channel with animals on it in my head".

Ben making friends, whilst carrying a bucket on the beach in Majorca " Hi, I've got crabs". What a chat up line!

"Hairy bulls " (highland cows). Ben aged four.

Ben aged two and a half found a dead crab on the beach in Cornwall. "We need to call the police daddy!".

Thursday 8 January 2009

Family =father and mother I love you

I pulled this fabulous poem out of a magazine years ago, it made me cry so much, and still does today. Thought I'd share it with you.



I ran into a stranger as he passed by,

"Oh excuse me please" went my reply.

He said "please excuse me too,

I wasn't watching for you".

We were very polite, this stranger and I,

We went on our way and we said goodbye.

But at home a different story is told,

How we treat our loved ones, young and old.

Later that day, cooking the evening meal,

My son stood beside me very still.

When I turned, I nearly knocked him down,

"Move out of the way" I said with a frown.

He walked away, his little heart broken,

I didn't realise how harshly I'd spoken.

While I lay awake in bed,

God's still small voice came to me and said,

"While dealing with a stranger, common courtesy you use, but the family you love, you seem to abuse.

Go and look on the kitchen floor,

You'll find some flowers there by the door.

These are the flowers he brought for you.

He picked them himself, pink, yellow and blue.

He stood very quietly not to spoil the suprise, you never saw the tears that filled his little eyes".

By this time, I felt very small,

And now my tears began to fall.

I quietly went and knelt by his bed;

"Wake up, little one, wake up" I said.

"Are these the flowers you picked for me?"

He smiled " I found them by the tree.

I picked them because they are pretty like you.

I knew you'd like them especially the blue".

I said "son, I'm very sorry for the way I acted today;

I shouldn't have yelled at you that way".

He said "oh mum that's ok.

I love you anyway".

I said "son, I love you too, and I do like the flowers, especially the blue"

Neon Necklaces and Rubber Bullets

We've been to casualty with all three of our kids, actually more than once and mostly it's a scary experience. With Nathaniel, who's a spirited kid to say the least, both times have been most amusing!

The first one, nearly two years ago was when we'd gone to see an England match at Old Trafford and the kids had all been given those neon necklaces that you snap to make glow. I was reading a magazine in the car on the way home, as my husband drove, and feeling pretty relaxed (as much as you can with three kids in the back of the car, but they were watching a dvd!).
Suddenly Nat started screaming, ear piercing screams that send shock waves through your whole body. I turned round and will never forget the sight I was greeted with.

He was glowing. A lovely yellowy green colour from his hair down to his fingers! He'd only gone and bitten into the neon necklace, punctured it and the slimy liquid had splattered all over him. My concern was his eyes, they were a yellowy green colour too!

I shouted at my husband that we needed a hospital, and luckily we were close to St James's. I carried him in, by which time he'd stopped crying but he still resembled a miniature Incredible Hulk. They took us straight in to a booth and a nurse took details. We had the packaging from the necklace and it was checked and all ingredients non toxic, thank goodness. They cleaned him up and we went on our way. Panic over!

A few weeks ago, we had to go again. All three children were at Grans for the day; they love it with my mum, it's like their second home. I got a call, and could here the screaming in the background before my mum spoke. Nat had pushed a rubber bullet up his nose and wouldn't let her get it out!

I dashed round, we pinned him down to have a look and sure enough we could see the bullet lodged up high in one of his nostrils. He wasn't in pain but was screaming because he didn't want to go to hospital.

We went non the less, and had to wait over two hours as it was, quite rightly, deemed to be a non emergency. In this time Nat had the time of his life playing with a little boy with a giant egg like lump on his forehead, and forgot all about the bullet.

A nurse eventually called us into a booth and typed his details into the computer - alarm bells must have rung somewhere as he turned to me and asked " do you have a social worker Mrs Goodwin". My mum wanted to punch him; I just laughed politely and prayed Nat doesn't have any more 'accidents' in the near future, otherwise we probably will get a social worker.

Another nurse got a pair of tweezers and Nat sat calmly as the offending article was removed, swiftly and with no pain. When she asked him never to do that again, he just grinned from ear to ear.................yikes!

Wednesday 7 January 2009

Boobies!

Just lifted this from my diary from March 14th 2004 :

Lauren (aged nearly two) has been feeding her dolls this morning with her 'boobies'. She holds them close and lifts up her top! She put two breast pads (I was feeding Nathaniel aged one month) inside her pyjamas and said "for me's boobies"!
This afternoon we went to pick Ben up from nursery and it was raining. She was carrying a frog umbrella and jumping up and down shouting "ribbit ribbit".
Later, Ben came running into the kitchen shouting "Mummy, alert the media, alert the media!" and when I asked why he said "Laurens gone outside on her own"?! This was a first but she hadn't gone far - I was being a consciencious mother, honest.

That evening Grandad was putting Ben to bed and he asked him if he snored at night. " I don't know how to snore Grandad".

Monday 5 January 2009

Alternative Rhymes!

Dip,dip tation, corporation,
The cat's got the chickenpox
So out goes the cotton one!

My four year old deciding which t-shirt to wear!!

Sunday 4 January 2009

Sheriff or Shepherd?!

My four year old came out of school one day in December and announced "Mummy I'm going to be a sheriff in the school play". He was very excited and full of his own importance, so I gingerly questioned him. " Do you mean a sheriff sweetheart?". "Yes mummy". I asked several times over the course of the afternoon and evening and he was adamant, so I assumed they were performing some alternative nativity play where Mary and Joseph meet cowboys!

It turned out, after I'd quizzed his teacher, that he was actually Chief Shepherd and not only that but he had a line to say!

We practised it at home every night " Come here my five best sheep" - much to the amusement of his brother and sister, until he'd got it off to a tee! So much so that they thought they'd have some fun with it, and him, by changing the word 'best' to all sorts of other things.

"Come here my five rubbish sheep"

"Come here my five worst sheep"

" Come here my five wee-wee sheep"

"Come here my five poo - poo sheep" (he's going through the wee-wee, poo-poo stage at the moment!)...

...and so it went on. Every night they'd come up with new words to fit into his one and only sentence. It was like something out of a Horrid Henry book listening to them and my husband and I laughed but cringed at the same time.

What on earth was our little darling going to come out with on the day of the nativity??!

We bought him a fabulous little outfit from Woolworths ( what ever will we do without that shop, so sad) complete with head dress, crook and a little sheep. He wore it every night for a week before the play and all day at the weekends if he could.

I went to the dress rehearsal and waited with great anticipation for thirty little four and five year olds to march into the hall and onto/next to the stage. The performance was fabulous, the audience had tears in their eyes as their little angels did their bit - and my own little angel stood proudly and said his line loudly, clearly and .................accurately. Bless him.

Setting The Scene

Hi, I'm a mum of three kids aged 8 and a half (boy), 6 and three quarters (girl) and nearly 5 (boy). I really enjoyed being pregnant each time - I bloomed all the way through, ate what I liked and thoroughly enjoyed all the attention.

When my first was born I carried on working a little, nothing much just a few hours here and there and that was from home inbetween feeds, nappy changes, and buggy pushing.Oh and don't forget the mums and baby groups where we ate cake, drank tea and swapped notes on our little bundles.

After my second and third came along (there's twenty two months between each one - precision planning!) things changed big time. I had given up work whilst being pregnant the second time and with little sleep each night - both boys were terrible sleepers, I was knackered.

Not suprising looking back, that I got post natal depression twice. I hated my body which didn't help. It changed shape, my tummy was saggy, my boobs leaked and my nipples felt 'chewed' and I felt most comfortable in leggings and a baggy sweatshirt. Very stylish - not, and for all those who know me so very not me at all!

With no job other than being a wife and mother - very important I know but I now realise that this just wasn't enough for me, I struggled every day for six months with my second and third child wondering how I'd get through the day. I resisted anti depressants, conventional medicine is so not me, and opted instead for homeopathy and acupuncture. It worked but it was a slow process.

Whilst I loved, and still love, my children dearly ,I resented them. I felt like I'd dropped off the end of the earth and had nothing that was 'just for me' in my life. If I wasn't breastfeeding, changing nappies, potty training, spoon feeding, pushing a double buggy and dragging a toddler behind, reading stories, making meals that they didn't eat, bathing and putting to sleep I had nagging little voices saying "mummy" all day and alot of the night too!

Despite all this I managed to keep a diary and have recorded some of the wonderful (and not so) things that my children have said and done so far in their little lives and reading through them makes me realise how very special they are and how very precious life is.

They deserve the best, all children, and not all of them get it. For years I' m not sure my children got the best from me - but thankfully they also have a loving father who has more patience than me and never lost his sanity - and now I'm trying to live with this and move on.

I hope you enjoy this blog, it's supposed to be light hearted and fun despite the heavy introduction. I hope it makes you smile and think how equally gorgeous your own little ones are. Please leave lots of comments particularly things you've recorded too.