Sunday, 4 January 2009

Setting The Scene

Hi, I'm a mum of three kids aged 8 and a half (boy), 6 and three quarters (girl) and nearly 5 (boy). I really enjoyed being pregnant each time - I bloomed all the way through, ate what I liked and thoroughly enjoyed all the attention.

When my first was born I carried on working a little, nothing much just a few hours here and there and that was from home inbetween feeds, nappy changes, and buggy pushing.Oh and don't forget the mums and baby groups where we ate cake, drank tea and swapped notes on our little bundles.

After my second and third came along (there's twenty two months between each one - precision planning!) things changed big time. I had given up work whilst being pregnant the second time and with little sleep each night - both boys were terrible sleepers, I was knackered.

Not suprising looking back, that I got post natal depression twice. I hated my body which didn't help. It changed shape, my tummy was saggy, my boobs leaked and my nipples felt 'chewed' and I felt most comfortable in leggings and a baggy sweatshirt. Very stylish - not, and for all those who know me so very not me at all!

With no job other than being a wife and mother - very important I know but I now realise that this just wasn't enough for me, I struggled every day for six months with my second and third child wondering how I'd get through the day. I resisted anti depressants, conventional medicine is so not me, and opted instead for homeopathy and acupuncture. It worked but it was a slow process.

Whilst I loved, and still love, my children dearly ,I resented them. I felt like I'd dropped off the end of the earth and had nothing that was 'just for me' in my life. If I wasn't breastfeeding, changing nappies, potty training, spoon feeding, pushing a double buggy and dragging a toddler behind, reading stories, making meals that they didn't eat, bathing and putting to sleep I had nagging little voices saying "mummy" all day and alot of the night too!

Despite all this I managed to keep a diary and have recorded some of the wonderful (and not so) things that my children have said and done so far in their little lives and reading through them makes me realise how very special they are and how very precious life is.

They deserve the best, all children, and not all of them get it. For years I' m not sure my children got the best from me - but thankfully they also have a loving father who has more patience than me and never lost his sanity - and now I'm trying to live with this and move on.

I hope you enjoy this blog, it's supposed to be light hearted and fun despite the heavy introduction. I hope it makes you smile and think how equally gorgeous your own little ones are. Please leave lots of comments particularly things you've recorded too.

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